“Today I know what loss is
today I know that life is uncertain
today I know what sorrow is
today I know that life is to treasure
today I struggle to contain my tears
as I’m flooded with your memories
Papa I miss you so much
Wish you’d stayed a bit longer
Wish you didn’t have to leave so soon
Wish all this was just a bad dream
And things would go back to being the same”
These past couple of weeks have been the toughest in my life.I lost the man who taught me how to cook,my ideal, my inspiration,my hero.
My Papa.He suffered a Cardiac Arrest in the early hours of September 21st 2013 unexpectedly.He was 67.
The man who loved life and enjoyed every moment with great zeal.A great cook,a connoisseur of good food and whiskey, a man of great style and charisma he left a lasting impression on everybody he met.Never the one to complain or feel negative he always looked at the brighter side of life in every situation.A man of high morals he taught me to be honest, to love and respect every individual.Through him I learnt that family is the most important thing in life.He truly made this world a better place.
Papa had no illness,no signs or symptoms or any discomfort that would give us even the slightest indication that something was wrong.In fact just a couple of months ago he had undergone a full check-up with perfect numbers.That dreaded phone call keeps playing in my head as I’m still shocked and it all seems so surreal.I always assumed that Papa was invincible,that nothing could happen to him since he was actively working,had no weight issues.I always prayed for my parents’ long life , but now suddenly I realize that nothing is certain anymore.Life can shock you at any given time.The only thing that brings some comfort is that he went peacefully,without any pain, any suffering in an instant.Probably the best way to leave this world.
I was fortunate enough to have spent time with him in July when he talked about visiting me next year.He was happy that I could come visit him.He cooked his world famous Mutton for me and I cooked my Tandoori Fish for him that he really enjoyed.
Little did I know, that it would be the last time, I was spending time with him.
Little did I know, that when he waved goodbye to me at the airport,it was his last goodbye to me.
Little did I know, that when he hugged me,it would be our last.I should have held on for a bit longer.
It turned out to be the most special trip of my life and I have fond memories that will stay with me forever.
I’m finding it very difficult to start cooking again but I know that Papa would want me to get back into my kitchen and continue doing what I love to do.He worked till the last day of his life and would want me to do the same.
I want to thank each and every one of you who’ve sent me your condolences in your emails,messages and phone calls and your offer to help in this difficult time.It really means a lot.
I’m left with a huge vacuum in my life that can never be filled and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I’ll never see him again.
I’m so blessed to be his daughter and forever grateful to him for being there for me always.
Goodbye Papa.I love you and miss you each day every day.
Oh dear! Losing a loved one so suddenly and unexpectedly is certainly very painful and hard hitting. Losing a parent, especially is a huge loss. My thoughts are with you and you paid a beautiful tribute to your revered father.
I am sure his blessings will always be with you and provide your strength.
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Thanks Taruna for your sweet words.It really means a lot and every message makes me feel a little better.Thanks again.
Soni, my thoughts are with you. I lost my dad (he was 64) in early 2012 and I feel like the sweet words you shared about your dad are some of the same exact things I felt when I lost my dad. In my case it was also sudden and my dad was in great health. I still struggle with it so much. Just know that I am thinking of you and wishing you love and comfort.
So sorry for your loss too Brandie and yes its so difficult especially when its sudden.Thanks for your prayers.
Soni, what a beautiful post. I can only imagine how amazing your father must have been because of the beautiful daughter he raised. I am so sorry and pray that every day gets a little easier for you.
Thankyou Isabel for all the support you and our Sunday Supper group gave me in those intial hours that saw me through that horrible journey I had to make.Means a lot.
Tears rolled down my eyes after reading and remembering of the wonderful memories I have had with him. I still remember the first time I met him in Sec 37. He looked very disciplined and a true gentleman.
I still remember when Aunty told me that everyone is afraid of talking to him. To me Uncle was like, a very cool, calm and very futuristic in his thoughts. Every Saturday morning, I used to get a call from him, asking me to join him for drinks/ dinner and there I was spending time with him. I learnt a lot of things from him.
I had so much to talk to him. Alas, he just went away. Even, today I wish that phone never rang to give me the sad news. I will definitely miss you for the rest of my life.
My salute and regards to the best gentleman I have ever met.
I know Mohit.Such was his personality.He got along with the old and the young.We take comfort from the fact that he went happy and content without any pain or suffering.
Oh Soni, I am so very sorry – this is the first that I have heard about this (I’ve been out of the loop somewhat), and I just want you to know that your family are in my prayers. Your Papa would be so proud of this wonderful tribute you wrote for him. ((hugs))
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Thanks for your prayers in this difficult time Pam.
What a sad loss for you and your family. My heart goes out to you.
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Soni, I’m reading your beautiful post with tears rolling down my face. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear papa. He sounds like a wonderful man who lived life to the fullest. And looking at that photo, I can see what a handsome and stylish gentleman he was as well. I’m thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. Sending you lots of hugs!
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Thankyou Nancy.Really need those hugs my friend.Thanks for all the support in this difficult time.
My heart goes out to you Sweetie! Your papa was obviously a very wonderful man and it sounds like you have a lot of wonderful memories, enough to last you a lifetime.
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Thankyou MJ.I do have many wonderful memories to last a lifetime.
I am sorry for your loss. May you be comforted by the precious memories of the great times with your papa. He was a handsome man.
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Thankyou Sandra.Memories are all I have to cling on to now and those precious memories will help see me through.He was a handsome man indeed.
Such a lovely tribute to your dad and I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I lost my dad too and understand the hole you now have in your life. He is still with you in spirit and you will be reminded of him in so many ways, especially in the kitchen where you know he enjoyed spending time with you.
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Thankyou Renee.I’m so sorry for your loss too and you’re right, he is with me in spirit and maybe cooking will comfort me and help bring some kind of normalcy.
Soni,
What a moving tribute. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Wishing you good thoughts as you regain your balance.
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Thankyou Dorothy.I am trying hard to regain my balance, but its so difficult.I hope to start getting into my routine somehow.